OISA: Chivas

This week, in my other writing gig over at Only In South America, I explain chivas — Colombia’s answer to the party bus, and the cause of this one time I thought I witnessed my friend die. Don’t drink and try to step out of a moving vehicle, kids.

Arts & Crafts (& Sheep)

A friend of mine runs a pretty cool local-based travel company here in Colombia, and about a month ago I got to hitch a ride with one of his trips. Our group spent a few days in the Altiplano — learning how to make pottery in Ráquira, shearing sheep on a farm outside of Villa de Leyva, wearing silly hats, and even finding time in between to play a little tejo and eat a bunch of empanadas. And then I wrote about it for their blog. A bit of a different perspective, or at least a different blog background, to change things up a little.

Guess Who’s Back for Round Two?

¿Qué más, friends and lovers?

Yes, so I’m back in Bogotá, if the Spanish wasn’t a clue. I’ve actually been back for almost a month now, occupied with moving into the new place, job-hunting, figuring out the closest place to buy avocados (2 blocks away) and beer (3 or 5 blocks away, depending on price point), dealing with floor remodeling, playing with our kitten and so on. It’s been a busy month, as moving time tends to be, but I’ve still had time to be overwhelmingly gleeful about my return.

Sure, moving to a foreign country with the intention of working as a freelance something-or-other is not exactly the wisest move when it comes to job security (or health insurance, for that matter — miss you, Obamacare!), but it’s a pretty wise move as far as my happiness level is concerned. The proverbial “they” keep coming up with these studies showing Colombia is one of the world’s happiest countries, and whether or not those studies include misplaced gringas, they’re on to something. I can’t help but feel overjoyed to be back here, even when I’m sweating on a packed bus stressing out about being late for a meeting (maybe a little less so then, but hey, price of admission and so on).

The wonderful Brighid — who has abandoned me for the warmer embraces of Barranquilla (more on that later) — and I were talking about honeymoon phases this week, as one is wont to do after moving to a new city. It’s almost inevitable when relocating that you go through this part of the “culture shock curve,” for lack of a better term. You know — when you’re first there, and everything is NEW and EXCITING and DIFFERENT and you just can’t stop staring at everything (and sometimes everyone). The honeymoon phase is wonderful, but it almost always ends, sometimes with an abrupt crash.

 

But what if it doesn’t? What if it never ends, or if it never happened at all? What if you’re just happy from day one, and then you just… keep being happy? Because I think that happens. I think maybe it happens more often here than in other places, like the steppes of Siberia. And I think it’s happened to me. And I couldn’t be more pleased about it.

Bogotá, todavía te quiero. It sure feels good to be back.

actually, I miss snow. but not that much snow

I’m sorry — do you guys at home have a lot of snow or something?

 

The 10 Weirdest Search Terms That Have Led People to My Blog

One of the great joys of having a blog is looking at the search terms that lead people to said blog. This is partly just because of that nosy desire we all have to see the weird crap that other people Google when they think nobody is looking, but it’s also pretty hilarious to see what searches Google thinks are relevant to my life and/or dubious expertise. Many of them make some sort of sense — people are looking for information about Colombia, or travel, or peanut butter, or delicious micheladas. A surprising number of people are highly interested in Jet chocolate (although at least one searcher thinks it tastes bad). These are the normal ones.

But I can promise you, they are not all normal. I don’t want to keep the fun details to myself, so here, for the world’s enjoyment, are the weirdest search terms that have led people to stumble upon my humble blog, in order from strange to extremely strange (and these are just from the last 90 days! We can keep going forever!). Hope none of you lovely folks are reading this right now — but if you are, hey, thanks for stopping by! Hope I can help!

  1. “i’m not one for goodbyes” — this is what I get for writing blog posts that start like a bad emo song. My bad.
  2. “feliz cumpleanos boo” — this sounds like the world’s worst Chris Brown song
  3. “cupcake trends 2012” — new trend: EVERYONE JUST CALM THE FUCK DOWN ABOUT THE CUPCAKES. Sex and the City ended like five years ago. Jesus.
  4. “how can i talk about myself” — get a blog!
  5. “ryan gosling eating pizza” — actually, I don’t know why we aren’t ALL googling this, all the time. I’m happy that somehow Google sees fit to connect me to the Baby Goose. First the internet, then real life! That’s how these things work, right?
  6. “things colombian women like” — um, oh gosh, why don’t you try asking A PERSON INSTEAD OF THE INTERNET?
  7. “geography of peanut butter” — THREE PEOPLE searched for this! We should probably be friends. I feel like we’d have a lot in common, even though I don’t really understand the question.
  8. “farewell to a difficult boss who is leaving” — I can only assume this is related to my post about cake.
  9. “peanut butter sandwich of inequality” — is there something they didn’t teach me in history class?
  10. and, my very favorite: “does wearing heels guarantee getting fucked” — I’m not even going to TOUCH this one. Apparently the great Search Engine Gods think I know the answer, though. Methinks I need to go revise my SEO terms. Or consider a career change.

Honorable mention goes to: “can you wear heels everywhere,” “ten personal questions,” the name of one of the other volunteers on my program and “where to buy fresh fruit smoothies fast food cumming ga.” Hope you figured that one out, hungry Georgia resident! And stop stalking the other people on my program, Internet creepers.

We’ll check back in a few months from now to see if you people have managed to get any weirder. Good luck beating #10, though.