- What it’s like to wake up every morning and legitimately need to check the weather.
- The taste of bad orange juice.
- The concept of eye contact as a direct threat.
- How much I would normally be sweating this time of year.
- Underground public transportation systems.
- The existence of Wolf Blitzer. And Maureen Dowd.
- Established, consistent bus stops.
- Avocados that exist in sizes smaller than my head.
- How to parallel park (to be fair, I was never very good at this to begin with).
- The idea of standing in line for brunch.
- Milk that comes in cartons, or yogurt that’s closer to a solid than a liquid.
- Using my debit card for anything that isn’t a plane ticket.
- Running without feeling like my lungs are considering exploding out of my chest.
- Movies without subtitles.
- Millionaire Matchmaker (and my enduring love for it).
Different airports: 4
Co-travelers: 4 — always 3 other people, but two switched off mid-vacation
Number of times I had to unpack my entire backpack so an unfriendly customs official could rummage through my undergarments and judge the number of earrings I bring on vacation: 1
Meals eaten at Mexican restaurants: 3
Meals eaten at pizza places: 2
Total number of avocados consumed: at least 7
Hikes on volcanoes: 1
Times I thought I might pass out for various reasons: 3
Times I actually did pass out: 0. Yay me!
Ziplines conquered: 13
Micheladas consumed: 5. More, if you want to count the 1-liter one as more than one beer (it was $5! I love Quito)
Buses taken: 11
Dollars spent at Otavalo market in Ecuador: UGH.
Steps climbed at La Piedra near Guatapé, Colombia: 670
2×1 happy hour cocktails purchased: 12
Cocktails that were actually good: 4
Unsuccessful attempts to find Pablo Escobar’s grave: 2
Cats at hostels: 4
Motochiva rides: 1
Number of eggs eaten: I can’t count this high
Fourth of July parties attended: 1
More coherent, complete sentences and photos to follow!