15 Things I’ve (Almost) Forgotten About Since January

  1. What it’s like to wake up every morning and legitimately need to check the weather.
  2. The taste of bad orange juice.
  3. The concept of eye contact as a direct threat.
  4. How much I would normally be sweating this time of year.
  5. Underground public transportation systems.
  6. The existence of Wolf Blitzer. And Maureen Dowd.
  7. Established, consistent bus stops.
  8. Avocados that exist in sizes smaller than my head.
  9. How to parallel park (to be fair, I was never very good at this to begin with).
  10. The idea of standing in line for brunch.
  11. Milk that comes in cartons, or yogurt that’s closer to a solid than a liquid.
  12. Using my debit card for anything that isn’t a plane ticket.
  13. Running without feeling like my lungs are considering exploding out of my chest.
  14. Movies without subtitles.
  15. Millionaire Matchmaker (and my enduring love for it).
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Vacation, By the Numbers

Days: 13

Different airports: 4

Co-travelers: 4 — always 3 other people, but two switched off mid-vacation

Number of times I had to unpack my entire backpack so an unfriendly customs official could rummage through my undergarments and judge the number of earrings I bring on vacation: 1

Meals eaten at Mexican restaurants: 3

Meals eaten at pizza places: 2

Total number of avocados consumed: at least 7

Hikes: 4

Hikes on volcanoes: 1

Times I thought I might pass out for various reasons: 3

Times I actually did pass out: 0. Yay me!

Ziplines conquered: 13

Micheladas consumed: 5. More, if you want to count the 1-liter one as more than one beer (it was $5! I love Quito)

Buses taken: 11

Dollars spent at Otavalo market in Ecuador: UGH.

Steps climbed at La Piedra near Guatapé, Colombia: 670

2×1 happy hour cocktails purchased: 12

Cocktails that were actually good: 4

Unsuccessful attempts to find Pablo Escobar’s grave: 2

Cats at hostels: 4

Motochiva rides: 1

Number of eggs eaten: I can’t count this high

Fourth of July parties attended: 1

Success: total

More coherent, complete sentences and photos to follow!